Yesterday was the day I’d been dreading since Sadie hurt her leg (See post Tough Choices). We had to have her put down. The last couple of weeks she’d been getting stiffer and stiffer. She’d also started falling going up the stairs into the house. Sometime’s I’d have to carry her up. On Wednesday it seemed like both of her back legs were giving her problems. By Wednesday night she wouldn’t walk at all. We had to carry her everywhere. There was no doubt in our minds it was time. The farmer took her to the vet Thursday afternoon. I couldn’t make myself do it. I sort of feel like my heart has been ripped out.
If any of you have watched the movie or read the book “Marley and Me”, Sadie was our Marley. She was not a well-behaved dog by any stretch of the imagination. She jumped on company. She growled at strangers and other dogs. She tried to eat cats. She barked at shadows and thunder. When you threw a ball, she wouldn’t bring it back. She wouldn’t think twice about stealing food. Once she ate a piece of garlic bread right out of the farmer’s hand! I’ve found her drinking my milk, grape juice, and once she stole a whole pan of brownies off the kitchen counter. Funny the chocolate overdose didn’t kill her! Another time she ate 4 sweet corn cobs out of the garbage and in the morning I awoke to a mine field of doggie vomit laced with pieces of corn cobs.
No, Sadie couldn’t be described as a good dog, but she was my dog. She would crawl onto my lap (even though she was too big) and like my face. She could make me laugh, when I wanted to cry. She was my constant friend. I saw her more than my husband most days. She was there to greet me and hid under the table when I left.
I don’t know how it’s possible to miss an animal so much, they find a way into our hearts and don’t let go. I can’t believe the emptiness I felt today. Opening the bedroom door and no Sadie happy I was awake to feed her. No Sadie barking at the heifers while I did chores this morning. No Sadie sleeping on the couch and wagging her tail when I walked past. There’s no Sadie right now to lick the tears off my cheeks to let me know it’s going to be alright. There’s no Sadie and I hate it.